enopause
The dreaded M word was uttered during a conversation with a few girlfriends recently. They were praising the virtues of growing too old to multiply, and going on and on about looking forward to no longer dealing with the curse. The room started to close in and I began to hyperventilate. Are these women nuts? I wanted to run screaming from the table so that I wouldn't catch the cooties or be associated with anything remotely menopausal.
Chin hairs, dry kitty cat, hot flashes and memory loss do not sound sexy. I am too hot in the ass for all of that. How could anyone possibly look forward to such nonsense? Obviously, these women were married and not making fools of themselves for younger, uninterested men. How could I possibly snag a nice, young hard body if I have gray cotchie hair and no sex drive? That's not going to work. I am only forty and a deuce - stop playing with my emotions.
Can you have hot sex forever? In days gone by (thank God) doctors routinely warned midlife women to abstain because intercourse past menopause could be fatal. Women were taught to believe it was dangerous for us to even thinkabout sexual activity after menopause because erotic thoughts might, among other evils, evoke regrets for lost allure and those regrets could trigger disease. Medical literature of the time (mostly written by men, of course) often portrayed menopausal women as borderline insane. The supposed reason: they were no longer appealing to the opposite sex.
What?
At this point in my life, I am savvy enough to know that feeling sexy is a state of mind, and that a good man doesn't need a partner to look perfect in lingerie in order for her to be desirable. We are not snake charmers. Women's bodies change as we get older—no matter how much yoga or liposuction or miracle creams we use, slower metabolism and gravity begin to take their toll. In order to enjoy sex, you have to feel that you're sexy. That's not easy. What's a girl to do? Men can take a pill to stay aroused and enjoy sex as they get older, but women's responses are far more complex. Sexiness is connected to our self esteem and long list of things to do around the house.
Mister Right better hurry up and get here while the cookies are still hot in the oven. As stated earlier - I am not about to hand in my letter of resignation to the Hot and Sexy Club, and maybe I should go ahead an look for a nice condo in Cougar Town.
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